


Afraid of depending on it: Love

by by_heart



Series: Life on the Waverider [8]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14895080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/by_heart/pseuds/by_heart
Summary: Sara doesn't do hugs. Except when she does.5 times someone on Sara's team hugged her + 1 time she hugged someone who needed it as much as she did





	Afraid of depending on it: Love

**Author's Note:**

> In "Unspoken Waverider Law" Sara mentions that she has been hugged by every member of her team whether she wanted it or not.

1.

She hated that Ray was doing this to her. Sara pounded her fists against his arms, his chest, fighting weakly to push him away and stay out of his grasp. Because she knew what would happen if he hugged her. 

She would cry. 

She would feel all the hurt that she had been trying so hard to push down, all the pain that had been bubbling its way to the surface throughout the day. She would feel the loss. 

When Rip dismissed everyone and they had all cleared the bridge except herself and Ray, she could see it on his face. Sara could tell that Ray had been watching her, reading her, knew what she was struggling with. In the wide open room, now empty save for the two of them, she found it nearly impossible to keep up the front that she was coping.

“Sara.” 

He said a single word, her name. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she was fighting the urge to blink so they wouldn’t fall. As long as she kept them in her eyes, she felt like she was still in control. If they escaped, if the tears ran down her face, Sara knew they would never stop.

“I’m going to bed,” she replied, making to walk past him. 

But Ray reached out and put his hand around her arm. Gently. She could have easily pulled it away and spat angry words at him for daring to touch her like that. Instead, she shook her head, said his name softly in protest, and let herself be pulled a little closer to him. 

“Let me go,” she pleaded softly and shoved his shoulder with her free hand to make her point. 

But she was free to go all along. Ray knew better than to hold her captive, to force her to do anything. His grip on her arm remained loose, allowing her to leave if she chose. 

Instead, he only took a step closer to her as she continued to pound her fist against his chest, nowhere near her full strength, both knew. She was causing him no real pain, other than to see her suffering and knowing there was nothing he could do to make that hurt go away. 

Ray pulled her arm up and tucked it between their bodies before letting it go and wrapping an arm around her back. Her other arm followed of its own accord as she tucked herself against his chest, still protesting, but only for show. 

She had given up on fighting him.

Both arms secure around her back, Ray held Sara close as her words faded into quiet sobs. He would hold her up as long as she needed. 

 

2.

“The mission went bad. Get over it,” Mick shouted. “Stop yelling at us. It was nobody’s fault.”

He stood still in his spot, glaring at Sara. But she refused to move.

“Come on,” Nate ushered quietly. “We should all get cleaned up.”

Everyone filed out of the parlor quietly with him. When everyone was down the steps and headed back to their rooms, Mick finally made a move to leave as well. 

He took three long strides forward and stopped in front of Sara. When she didn’t move, he bent down and wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and held her against his chest as he stood back up.    
  
“What are you doing?” she demanded as she squirmed in his grip.

“Moving you outta my way.” He turned to the right and set her back down, but he didn’t release her. Instead, his tone changed and he spoke more quietly next to her ear. “Wasn’t anybody’s fault, Boss, not even yours.” He held her for another second before finally letting her go and walking past her to leave. 

Sara sighed heavily and turned to watch him leave the room, hoping he was right. 

  
  


3.

When Nate hugged her, she never asked for it, but always felt better afterward anyway. Not that she would ever tell him that. 

When Nate hugged her, it was always warm and friendly. He hugged with his whole body.

And definitely with his whole heart. 

The first time, she had given him permission,  _ “just this once,”  _ she smiled.

_ “There’s gonna be more,” _ he warned playfully. 

And there had been more. She learned quickly that he was a person who expressed himself through physical touch, and seemed to be fueled by it almost. He hugged almost everyone at least once a week. Couldn’t seem to help himself. 

So when he ran toward Sara with his arms open and his smile wide, Sara sighed and smiled and opened her arms as well. It was contagious. He scooped her up, laughing, and spun her around twice before putting her feet back on the floor. He quickly kissed her cheek before letting her go, then moved on and did the same with Amaya.    
  
She would never admit it, but after more than a year on the ship with him, working together, living together, sharing so much of their life and experiences together, Sara had come to look forward to the days when his happiness was so overflowing that he had to share it with an embrace that warmed her heart and fueled her through rough days as well.

 

4.

“I think I’m just gonna hit the training room and beat the shit out of the heavy bag for a while,” Sara said. “Want to come?”

But Sara wasn’t moving any closer to the door. She had gone to Amaya’s room to vent, and had only moved further and further into the room while she talked. 

Amaya stood, still giving Sara her undivided attention. “I’d be happy to join you,” she accepted. “But can I give you a hug first also?” She always offered, always waited for Sara to come to her.

Sara rolled her eyes and smiled as she closed the distance between them. “Yes, please,” she replied. 

Amaya’s arms wrapped around her shoulders and Sara put her arms around Amaya’s back. It always made her feel better. Amaya never tried to talk her out of using a good, hard workout as a means of releasing her anger or stress. But she always offered a hug, and it always went a long way in beginning to ease whatever tension Sara’s body was holding on to so tightly. 

There was a peace in Amaya that Sara always felt in the woman’s arms and she let it sink into her, took what Amaya was sharing, before finally pulling away. Feeling a little lighter already. 

“Get changed,” she said as she headed back toward the door. “Meet you in there in five.”

  
  


5.

Wally brought an energy to the ship that they’d never really had before. He was a mix of youth and vibriance, but also focused and tranquil when he wanted to be. The first time he wrapped his arms around her, she wasn’t expecting it and her body tensed as she made a focused effort not to just shove him away. 

“Okay, okay,” she sighed as she put her arms around him in return. “But don’t make it a regular thing,” she warned. “I don’t do hugs.” 

He pulled away and smiled. “Noted.” He took no offense, he didn’t take it as a challenge, he just took her at face value. 

He didn’t make it a regular thing. He respected her request for personal space. 

But there were days he happily put his arms around her, and whether she wanted it or not, she found herself reciprocating. She wasn’t a hugger, but something about it made Wally happy, which made her happy in return. So for him, she didn’t mind the occasional hug to lighten her mood and brighten his even more. 

And when he announced that he was going home to meet his new baby sister, and that he might be staying there a little while, she didn’t hesitate to indulge him and hold on just a little longer to make it last the duration. 

  
  


1.

Sara watched Zari through her open door. She was sitting in her armchair playing some video game that looked the same as all the others to Sara.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped through the door and closed it behind her. 

Zari turned at the sound. “Hey, Sara,” she nodded to the closed door, “what’s going on?”

Sara approached the chair in a few steps then swung her leg over the arm of it and slid down next to Zari. Practically on top of Zari. 

Both scooted around until they were as situated as they could be. 

“The fuck, Sara?” Zari laughed. “I have another perfectly good chair,” she nodded to the seat beside her. 

Sara didn’t acknowledge it though. “A couple years ago, I lost my sister.”

“I know,” Zari nodded. She avoided eye contact.

“Nothing in the world makes that any better. But a friend who lost his fiance taught me something important, something I never would have believed was possible. He reminded me that I was not alone. Losing Laurel didn’t mean I was losing everything. And that I’d survive it if I remembered what I did still have.” She sniffled, remembering the time she had hit Ray’s chest repeatedly while he just pulled her closer. “He reminded me that I still had people who loved me, people I loved. And that it was okay to need them. Even if I’m usually too stubborn to admit that I need them.” 

Sara wrapped her arms around Zari, a bit awkwardly while they still sat side by side, squished into a single chair. 

“You’re like me: you bottle up the big emotions and don’t ask for help. You’ve been on your own for a while now, and I was the same way after I’d been on my own for several years.” She rested her head on Zari’s shoulder, feeling the woman tense. “I joined this team to escape my reality and run away from my problems. But coming here,” she sighed, “it healed me. I found a family here, I found hope here, I found things I never knew I was looking for.”

“I don’t really do hugs,” Zari finally spoke. But her hand rose up to wrap around Sara’s arm across her chest. 

“Me neither. Door’s closed. I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Zari sank down a little deeper into the chair and drew her knees up. She rested her head against Sara’s and sighed. “I’m afraid I’ll never stop missing my family,” she whispered. “The hole they left in my heart is going to eat me alive.”

“We won’t let it,” Sara promised. 


End file.
